more

don’t hold your hand out
for even more
when you’ve spent
your whole life
just taking it all

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wasteful

i decided
i would
forgive you

not to ease
your conscience

but to give
myself some
hope that
maybe
what you
did was
an accident

like smashing
a glass or
stabbing your
toe

but i
cannot
forgive a
conscious
decision
that you
knew
would
hurt me

i have
more
self-respect
than to
waste
my forgiveness.

to me, from me

reminder to future me
who sees the world
through glasses tinted
with charcoal lenses
and everything in it
as a threat:

things get better.
nothing is permanent,
especially sadness.
you feel like this now
because, just wait,
something great
is about to happen.
and if you sit up at
night waiting for change,
it will never come.
be proactive.
breathe.
everything is exactly
how it’s meant to be.
everything is just fine.
and if it’s not…
well,
it’s only up from here.

respiration

i needed
you to
inhale,
but i couldn’t
exhale
near you

and that is not
breathing

that is holding
my breath and
hoping that my
lungs would
collapse
before admitting
we were better
off apart

that was not
breathing

that was
emotional sabotage
on myself

that was not
breathing

that was not
even
surviving